"No" is a complete sentence
your holiday weekend reminder
When I was in active addiction, struggling deeply in my teen and young adult years, I treated my body like a garbage dump.
It makes me shudder to think of the things I’ve done and those things done to me.
Photo by Gideon Karanja on Unsplash
For my friends who get it, can we take a deep breath together for a moment?
What prevented me from saying “no” for years (I didn’t realize at the time), had a lot to do with what I’d experienced.
I never felt like I had agency or choice.
Life just happened to me.
My role was to respond or hide away by any means necessary, most often some type of problematic substance use.
I tell all in a recent podcast interview with my friend,
, and it was tough to go there.Here is a sneak peek…or listen to the full episode here.
But today, I have to go there.
And most importantly, I think we need to talk about the challenge that many of us have with agency, self-responsibility, and self-respect. All wrapped up in the concept of boundaries.
Why talk about boundaries on this Memorial Day Weekend...you may be asking (and honestly, I was a bit surprised I felt moved to share this with you today).
We honor the brave people who gave everything for our freedom. Yes, and amen.
Thank you.
And as we remember their sacrifice, let’s also remember this:
We have the freedom to protect our peace.
We have the right to say no…
To that Memorial Day event that WON’T be fun tomorrow morning.
[if you are struggling with saying no to that holiday event watch my IG video encouragement from last year]
To burnout or exhaustion.
To toxic relationships.
To anything that keeps us from healing.
"No" is a complete sentence.
And sometimes, honoring ourselves is the boldest form of courage.
Boundaries are brave.
This weekend, can we take a moment today to reclaim them?
Catch up on a couple of my other recent articles on boundaries:
7 Signs You Might Have Boundary Issues
*forward this letter to a friend or someone you work with who is navigating the very real challenges of summering sober
Q: Why do I date a guy and then relapse?
Q: I keep struggling to stay sober. I have this pattern: get in recovery, start to feel better, date a guy, then relapse. Even if the guy is sober, I still end up using. Why can’t I stop this pattern?
What are you saying “no” to today?
Share in the comments to encourage someone reading this letter.
Caroline Beidler, MSW, is an author, speaker, and Managing Editor of Recovery.com, where she combines expert guidance with research to help people find the best path to healing and treatment. Her next book, When You Love Someone in Recovery: A Hopeful Guide for Understanding Addiction, is coming Spring 2026 with Nelson Books. Drawing from her own recovery journey through addiction, mental health challenges, and trauma, along with training as a mental health provider and addiction recovery expert, Caroline inspires others to believe that healing is possible. Learn more about her books here.