Blooming behind the boundary line

a bonus on Sara Hagerty's new book

Books are balm.

During this Women’s History Month, I’ve read or reflected on some incredible books, essays, and articles by women.

Rachel Marie Kang

Cheryl Strayed

Alex Elle

Laura McKowen

are only a few of the incredible women authors that I look up to and admire for different reasons and in different seasons.

March is also a lovely month because its the anniversary of the pub date for my own first book (Downstairs Church) and the month when so many great titles are released into the wild.

Photo by Laura Kapfer on Unsplash

Sara Hagerty

’s most recent book was released this month and I had to share a bit about it here because she instantly wooed me with her intuitive and poetic style. Plus she’s a mom of 7 (yes, 7!) and so therefore has my immediate, undistracted attention and should have yours.

The Gift of Limitations: Finding Beauty in Your Boundaries is a gem. Like buried treasure reveals new sparkle, when you hold Sara Hagerty’s words up to the light you discover riches.

Plus, her latest book centers around exploring boundaries—something that the recovery community lists as one of its top priorities of learning in one of my recent surveys (nearly 60% of respondents).

[you can still access the survey here]

How can we be at peace with our limitations, our boundaries, our fence lines?

How can we peer into the lives of others and have contentment for our side of things?

When we’ve experienced trauma, addiction, or other challenges, how can we find joy in these limitations and ultimately discover them to be strengths?

“What if your greatest weaknesses—the areas of your life you resent the most, the places where you feel the most overextended and unfulfilled—are your doorway to rich intimacy with God? What if your limitations were, in fact, your greatest gift?”

- Sara Hagerty, The Gift of Limitations

As Sara shares in her new book, there is a nuance to the concept of boundaries that I think relates so well to the recovery journey.

For a very long time, I saw my addiction and mental health challenges as limitations. They were obstacles to overcome, giants to defeat. I looked on my issues as one would a hurt friend.

With pity. Sadness.

“You are in recovery? I’m so sorry…”

Randy Fath from Unsplash

I’d see the “perfect” family and think “this will never be my life.”

I’d imagine being an author, even working towards it, all the while under my breath saying that “this will never happen for me.”

The boundary lines felt too rigid, the fence too high between what I wanted for my life and what I could attain.

I’ve talked to other people in recovery and they have felt the same: That somehow the “normal or joyful life” [whatever normal or joyful meant to them] was out of reach.

Too many bad decisions, burned bridges, untold stories, and untaken paths, had eliminated the possibility for them.

The possibility was impossible.

What Sara reminds us in her new book is that this isn’t the case.

Viewing our boundary lines and limitations as assets is a new and freeing perspective that we can embrace.

God’s mercy is abundant and boundless.

The possibilities are indeed endless.

And it might just be our limitations that show us the way.

GET SARA’s book here.

For me, I’m going to be honest. This isn’t an innate skill.

I need to learn and practice this perspective over time. What helps me the most is coming to understand my true worth and value as a woman. Not because of anything I’ve done (or not done) but simply because I was created—and created by a God who loves me.

Within the fences and outside of them.

Because of my addiction and mental health challenges and despite them.

It’s time to recognize our limitations as gifts and our need for boundaries a treasure of the recovery journey.

What limitations are also gifts that help you to understand yourself (and perhaps love yourself) more fully?