When that Feeling Feels Tough

here's what you can do

If you follow me on any social media platforms or read my first book, Downstairs Church, you know that I love the author and speaker Jennie Allen.

She is one of those women who have encouraged me and mentored me for years from afar.

Between her many books and annual conference called IF:Gathering, a new global event called Gather25, she has impacted my life by guiding me through seasons of doubt, insecurity, fear, and growth.

What she is teaching me now, I just had to share with you because I have believed for a long time that when we can learn how to feel, we can learn how to be free.

With the holidays approaching, often with stress, overwhelming feelings, and triggers of all sorts, it might be more important than ever.

In a past article I wrote for the global recovery community In the Rooms: How to Feel Emotions in Recovery (without losing your mind), I share this:

In early recovery, I felt my heart beating in a new way. And it was painful. Gory. Like a scene from Game of Thrones. Things I’d experienced in the past rose to the surface. All of the terrible feelings I buried for years in my active addiction started bubbling up like an oil spill in the ocean. It felt as difficult to manage as a coastal clean-up, too.

What I didn’t know at the time was that I was beginning the journey of learning how to feel – one of the most important things I’ve learned how to do in recovery.

In Jennie Allen’s latest book, she explores the concept of emotions and feeling. I think this book is a game-changer for the recovery community.

Why?

Because I and so many of the women I’ve worked with over the years have spent years imprisoned in our minds. Held captive by feelings—or in some of our cases, held captive by the unquenchable desire to run from them.

Fear?

Anger?

Resentment?

Timidity?

Despair?

Even joy or happiness?

Can you relate with the feeling of not wanting to feel at all?

But what I’ve learned and what Jennie so practically shares in her own book is that when we allow ourselves to feel, when we identify our feelings, something incredible happens: we can move on from them.

Jennie says:

When we start feeling again, we’ll start living again.

Hiding from them or running away or denying feelings may work for a time, but they always come creeping back.

We can feel, then “untangle” our feelings and learn how to live a more full and free life. We can be in touch with everything: the pain, the joy, the anger, the anxiety, all of it.

What is more…

While our feelings are a solitary thing, they don’t have to stay locked away in our minds or hearts anymore. We can name what we are feeling. We can sit with those feelings. And we don’t have to sit with them alone.¹

We can learn how to feel in community. Importantly, if you need a refresher in how to show up and listen to the feelings of others, check out this article by one of my new favorites:

Don't be the a** hole in the conversation

Or listen to this awesome podcast with one of my other favorite authors, Dr. Lee Warren:

Untangle Your Emotions, with Jennie Allen

Will you join me in this year and commit to learning how to feel?

The new year is a great time to focus on our thought and feeling life. Not to stay wrapped in self, but to be able to expand more fully to love and serve and show up for others.

Are you ready to show up for the people we love and serve with open ears and open arms, giving them space to feel?

How are you feeling today? Comment below!

1. https://www.intherooms.com/home/iloverecovery/addiction/how-to-feel-emotions-in-recovery-without-losing-your-mind/