Q: "What is recovery?"
A: the answer may surprise you
A couple months ago, my church invited me to share about my second book, You Are Not Your Trauma, in a 3-week book study with a group of folks who had been meeting regularly on Sunday mornings before services, some for nearly fifty years.
This was a group of people that were well-dressed and well-versed in their Christian faith. Pleated khakis and fresh permed curls abound.
I was a bit nervous and unsure about how this crowd might differ from folks I am used to speaking to, folks with a bit more experience in the downstairs church and not the upstairs sanctuary.
What I wasn’t prepared for were the very poignant, yet very simple questions they asked that made me rethink everything I thought I knew about recovery.
Photo by Josh Eckstein on Unsplash
After we went person to person with introductions around the circle of chairs, and after I helped the group break the ice with recovery-style sharing, one older woman turned to me and asked this:
“What is recovery?”
Of course, I sort of chuckled to myself because she didn’t know me well and didn’t know that my entire life, both personally and professionally has been fused with the concept of recovery for years.
Yet, interestingly, few people (aside from my kiddos) had ever flat out asked me this question.
We need to ask this question.
The woman continued:
“My sister is an alcoholic and has struggled for years. She says she’s in recovery, but I don’t understand it. It seems so nebulous. So vague. She’s been in and out of treatment. Goes to meetings, I think. But what is it? What does it mean?”
A federal agency (that’s currently being dismantled), SAMHSA, shares that recovery is “A process of change through which individuals improve their health and wellness, live a self-directed life, and strive to reach their full potential.”1
I love this.
A process /
of change
Recovery isn’t a one-time decision. It is a way of life.
improve /
health and wellness
Recovery isn’t just about sobriety or abstinence.
It is much bigger than that, involving a wide range of activities, practices, and rhythms that add to a physically, emotionally, and spiritually full life.
It’s also not a cure-all but an improvement or better, movement towards a vision of life we have for ourselves, our families, and our communities and a greater purpose.
Live a self-directed life
Hear this: This doesn’t have to mean without a spirit-led life. It can mean a life that highlights choice and agency. One that empowers and inspires.
This is especially important for many of us who have lived through traumas of different sorts that threaten to take away our sense of self or control over what we can.
We can have choice (free will, if you will), while also be led or directed by God too.
/ and reach our full potential
Meaning we set ourselves on a path towards realizing what God has had planned for our lives all along.
Not a life free from trouble or one wrapped up in “self-help.” But a life brimming with joy, engaged in service, connected with others, and at peace most days.
What I also shared with this church member is that recovery can be an individualized path.
There isn’t a cookie-cutter approach.
Just like everyone’s treatment and recovery from other human conditions and struggles may be different than their neighbor’s going through the same thing. I also shared that there are different approaches to recovery, an entire menu of options.
Similar to the way someone undergoing cancer treatment often has different options for treatment, medications, or even surgery.
Again, this is not in opposition of a spirit or God-led recovery (and I’d love to talk to you more about this).
Recovery is not linear, going from point A (addiction) to point R (recovery) in a straight line.
There are detours, twists, and turns, just like in life. There are setbacks.
Photo by Kees Streefkerk on Unsplash
I wish I could paint the picture of what the woman at church’s eyes looked like when I turned back towards her after sharing with the group some of these pieces and more (what I will be sharing more about in my next book - more on this coming soon).
“Thank you,” she said with a sense of calm and assurance.
“I understand more now.”
Are you a loved one impacted by addiction?
Do you love someone in recovery?
I want to hear from you!
Take a few minutes to fill out this brief form to share your insights. You can also let me know if you’d like to be a part of an interview series I’ll be doing this fall. Stay tuned for more and I’m so glad you are here.
Caroline Beidler, MSW, is an author, speaker, and Managing Editor of Recovery.com, where she combines expert guidance with research to help people find the best path to healing and treatment. Her next book, When You Love Someone in Recovery: A Hopeful Guide for Understanding Addiction, is coming Spring 2026 with Nelson Books. Drawing from her own recovery journey through addiction, mental health challenges, and trauma, along with training as a mental health provider and addiction recovery expert, Caroline inspires others to believe that healing is possible. Learn more about her books here.
"Recovery." Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA), https://www.samhsa.gov/find-help/recovery.
As someone who still can't get himself to tell people "I'm in Recovery" because I don't want anyone thinking that I have had substance use disorder ( I have never had issues with substances) I resonated with the SAMHSA definition when I heard it in a training. By that definition, I definitely am. I like that it allows for people like me who are recovering from incarceration and bad habits, but not substances.