A message to all mothers of addicts, as well as other loved ones of those who struggle and fall victim to the disease of addiction:
I know that nothing I say can fill the void where loved ones once lived, but please know that, as the son of a mom who tried to remain close to me, oftentimes despite her better judgment, that nothing she could or could not have done brought me out of the path addiction was taking me; it was something beyond our control and understanding. So please don't assume that you could have done more, or that you should have behaved differently, because the most important thing to convey to any addict, ever, clean or using, is your love and reassurance that they matter, even and especially when they don't believe you, because in those final moments of each person's life, it is the thoughts and feelings felt from the love of others that fills our heads and hearts, and it is that that allows us the comfort and courage to cross over without fear. Knowing we're loved is perhaps as close to heaven as we will ever get, but when it comes down to it, if that's all there is, maybe that's enough. A mother's love, for me, is enough to keep that hope alive. Be well, stay safe, and live free.
It will be seven years in November since we lost Joel. I’ve found my purpose in guiding other families through their pain - a trauma that began long before the actual death. Although I’ve done a lot of personal work there is still much to unpack and work on. Grief is a long journey through all the feels - from unraveling pain to joyful memories and back and forth again and again. 💜
Thank you so much for sharing your journey with others, Pattie. Yours is a beautiful reminder that our pain can be redeemed into purpose. Though it doesn't take away from the tragic, our experiences can help others. Thank you for this reminder.
I know that pain, Caroline. Thank you for sharing. Grief ebbs and flows. I've found what I've shared in this letter to tether me when I've felt untethered. Sending you love today.
A message to all mothers of addicts, as well as other loved ones of those who struggle and fall victim to the disease of addiction:
I know that nothing I say can fill the void where loved ones once lived, but please know that, as the son of a mom who tried to remain close to me, oftentimes despite her better judgment, that nothing she could or could not have done brought me out of the path addiction was taking me; it was something beyond our control and understanding. So please don't assume that you could have done more, or that you should have behaved differently, because the most important thing to convey to any addict, ever, clean or using, is your love and reassurance that they matter, even and especially when they don't believe you, because in those final moments of each person's life, it is the thoughts and feelings felt from the love of others that fills our heads and hearts, and it is that that allows us the comfort and courage to cross over without fear. Knowing we're loved is perhaps as close to heaven as we will ever get, but when it comes down to it, if that's all there is, maybe that's enough. A mother's love, for me, is enough to keep that hope alive. Be well, stay safe, and live free.
Thank you for this beautiful reflection, Patrick. My prayer is that your words help guide a mother's heart away from the weight of guilt.
It will be seven years in November since we lost Joel. I’ve found my purpose in guiding other families through their pain - a trauma that began long before the actual death. Although I’ve done a lot of personal work there is still much to unpack and work on. Grief is a long journey through all the feels - from unraveling pain to joyful memories and back and forth again and again. 💜
Thank you so much for sharing your journey with others, Pattie. Yours is a beautiful reminder that our pain can be redeemed into purpose. Though it doesn't take away from the tragic, our experiences can help others. Thank you for this reminder.
I haven’t lost a child, but a father, and more. Your essay touched me deeply and is so helpful. Thank you. ❤️
I know that pain, Caroline. Thank you for sharing. Grief ebbs and flows. I've found what I've shared in this letter to tether me when I've felt untethered. Sending you love today.