“Later, after we’d been dating for a while, when he met my friends in recovery, he was shocked that people “like me” and “us” were a part of this seemingly elusive club where we drank fancy seltzer, laughed a lot, and were sober on Saturday nights, God forbid.”
Love those responses, Caroline! When I married my partner, he'd been sober for many years. I saw that as a plus even though I didn't get sober myself until years later. I was still nervous about how things would be for us once I got sober (I was more social and "personable" when drinking and suspected he actually preferred me that way). Thankfully, we got through the awkward phase, and it's been such a gift to our relationship. But oof. My family? Co-workers? The response is usually "awkward silence, then changing the subject."
“I had no idea what recovery was all about. Not like I do now. I had no idea that it makes life bigger. Not smaller.”
Such a gorgeous response/reflection from your husband.
I still struggle with this part of recovery- how some of my closest people still don’t quite understand why I prioritize sobriety so fiercely.
My husband still drinks (through WAY less now) and I see the second hand effects my recovery is having on him (I think I see it and he may not, entirely). It is making our lives bigger, that is certain.
One response that a dear friend gave me was, “we are rooting for you.” Which I KNOW had the best of intentions but it made me feel like I’m the underdog who needs sympathy. When really, I feel so empowered.
I am grateful for circles like yours, Caroline - where others get it. 🫶
“Later, after we’d been dating for a while, when he met my friends in recovery, he was shocked that people “like me” and “us” were a part of this seemingly elusive club where we drank fancy seltzer, laughed a lot, and were sober on Saturday nights, God forbid.”
We are not a glum lot 🤭
Love those responses, Caroline! When I married my partner, he'd been sober for many years. I saw that as a plus even though I didn't get sober myself until years later. I was still nervous about how things would be for us once I got sober (I was more social and "personable" when drinking and suspected he actually preferred me that way). Thankfully, we got through the awkward phase, and it's been such a gift to our relationship. But oof. My family? Co-workers? The response is usually "awkward silence, then changing the subject."
"I'm so sorry."
🤣🤣🤣
Recovery from ... My worst challenge and top medic friend exaggerates this, by saying recovery from WHAT
“I had no idea what recovery was all about. Not like I do now. I had no idea that it makes life bigger. Not smaller.”
Such a gorgeous response/reflection from your husband.
I still struggle with this part of recovery- how some of my closest people still don’t quite understand why I prioritize sobriety so fiercely.
My husband still drinks (through WAY less now) and I see the second hand effects my recovery is having on him (I think I see it and he may not, entirely). It is making our lives bigger, that is certain.
One response that a dear friend gave me was, “we are rooting for you.” Which I KNOW had the best of intentions but it made me feel like I’m the underdog who needs sympathy. When really, I feel so empowered.
I am grateful for circles like yours, Caroline - where others get it. 🫶