“Bird by Bird.”
How this classic writing advice applies to our lives (and recovery) too
This time of year, the woods around our house sings. We live in Eastern Tennessee in the foothills and are tucked away in a wooded cul-de-sac. A former city dweller, what surprises me most every spring, along with an explosion of green, is the birdsong.
I’m sure there were birds in other places I’ve lived, but I don’t remember noticing them like this. Winged reminders.
Anne Lamott, in her famous book on writing, describes a scene from her childhood that has become classic writing advice:
“...thirty years ago my older brother, who was ten years old at the time, was trying to get a report on birds written that he’d had three months to write, which was due the next day. We were out at our family cabin in Bolinas, and he was at the kitchen table close to tears, surrounded by binder paper and pencils and unopened books on birds, immobilized by the hugeness of the task ahead.
Then my father sat down beside him, put his arm around my brother’s shoulder, and said, “Bird by bird, buddy. Just take it bird by bird.”1
Lamott uses this story to illustrate how we can approach writing: One word, thought, experience, story at a time. Bird by bird.
This advice takes the pressure off and can move us from a sense of desperation in our craft to one of freedom. From being overwhelmed by the weight of a 60,000-word manuscript, to simply beginning. One sentence, then one paragraph, then one chapter, at a time.
What I’ve learned about writing and recovery is that both require a disciplined living in the moment. Working towards fullness (think completed, edited manuscript) but living in the everyday decisions and ordinary present. Line by line. Even when, or especially when, life gets tough.
Most of us (I’m raising my hand), want life to be simple, smooth, with the outcome ready packaged and delivered like our latest online purchase. We think we have to figure it all out at once.
We have to be ready to begin.
Or, we need to know (or control) the outcome. “Since we are always preparing for eventualities, we seldom fully trust the moment.”2
But there is a truth in this classic writing advice from Lamott that reminds me of something I’ve heard in addiction recovery circles over the years:
To face the tough stuff of life, we must live one day at a time.
No matter what we encounter, we can choose resilience, moment by moment, when the trials of our lives are like those pesky gulls that lurk or hover.
When life feels overwhelming (addiction or divorce or illness or grief or temptation or fill-in-your-thorn…), we don’t need to have all the answers or know the outcome right now. We can just show up and take the next small step. Pray those ‘give us this day our daily bread’ kind of prayers.3
Healing often starts the same way writing does: facing it one day at a time, one choice at a time, one honest page at a time. Or as Lamott shares, “bird by bird.”
Text by text.
Visit by visit.
Prayer by prayer.
Breath by breath.
We don’t have to write (or heal) our whole story at once. We can just focus on the next line. Today.
Imagine now that we are like Lamott’s brother, sitting after agonizing over the hugeness of the trial set before us and worrying about how it’s all going to work out in the end. But now, instead of despair, we feel freedom. We can approach our struggle in the way that we approach writing too, with daily grit and surrender.
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How are you showing up one day at a time today?
Comment below to spur another along in the journey.
A Note on what’s coming this summer with Circle of Chairs
I’m super excited that in the coming months, this Substack letter will be featuring a series of guest writers. Each will pull up a chair and share letters connected to recovery, writing, mental health, and more. I can’t wait to hear from you about how these guest writers move you.
Now, don’t forget to heart and comment on this post (and if you aren’t signed up to Substack and just get this via email (hello, friends!), consider joining Substack for free so you can engage here. I’d love to hear from you in the comments.
Thanks for sharing! Living 'One day at a time' is such important recovery wisdom.
Bird by Bird, after 25 years in sobriety, you think I would have heard this one before...so true. I do flowers everyday at my shop, and the concept of one thing (one action) at a time, builds a beautiful flower arrangement, it probably comes naturally after 39 years, but some days, it seems insurmountable, customers, bills, clean bathroom, mop floors, then coming back to Anne Lamont...Bird by Bird. Needed to hear this today. Thanks