Thank you for this piece - I love IFS. I think the fear of saying “I have addicted parts” rather than “I’m an addict” is rooted in the fear that we might deceive ourselves and think we can let the non-addicted parts have a drink now and then, lol.
I completely agree that I am so much more than an alcoholic, that is just a part of me - but it is a part I have to work with all the time if I want to build a life I love and live my most authentic life.
Seeing that part allowed me to get sober, especially when I observed and engaged with them without judgment.
Thanks for sharing! I love inviting other experts here to learn more about how the psychology, spirituality, and science of recovery blend together to give us tools to heal. It's important to be discerning, too, (there is SO much information out there), but I'm glad you found something to hold on to in this letter and my hope for you is that these words continue to point you along a path of healing.
I hear you Kristen! In reflecting on your comment I come back to: do what works for you.
For me, “addicted parts” creates more space for compassion which can lead to change and connection. Both with myself and then others.
I love 12-step recovery. It’s such an important part of my journey. The thing I don’t love about it is this idea that if you aren’t doing it exactly by the book, are you really recovering?
Example: if you aren’t calling yourself an addict, are you really acknowledging your powerlessness?
I believe we can view them as addicted parts and still acknowledge our powerlessness.
And even if we have a part of us that is trying to deceive so that we can have a drink now and then, that’s still just a part of you that deserves compassion and curiosity over rejection or criticism because it, at the end of the day, is trying to protect you too.
Just my thoughts! Take what you want and leave the rest. Hope that helps.
Blake, thank you for your wisdom and insight! Although there is so much here to highlight, I especially appreciate this: "Every anxious moment, every connection to addictive patterns offers a chance to deepen your relationship with yourself." Oh, how true and important this is! I only wish I had learned this decades ago. Keep doing what you do, Blake. Thank you.
Thank you for this piece - I love IFS. I think the fear of saying “I have addicted parts” rather than “I’m an addict” is rooted in the fear that we might deceive ourselves and think we can let the non-addicted parts have a drink now and then, lol.
I completely agree that I am so much more than an alcoholic, that is just a part of me - but it is a part I have to work with all the time if I want to build a life I love and live my most authentic life.
Seeing that part allowed me to get sober, especially when I observed and engaged with them without judgment.
love to hear more of your thoughts on this!
Thanks for sharing! I love inviting other experts here to learn more about how the psychology, spirituality, and science of recovery blend together to give us tools to heal. It's important to be discerning, too, (there is SO much information out there), but I'm glad you found something to hold on to in this letter and my hope for you is that these words continue to point you along a path of healing.
Thank you, I will be 2 years sober later this month ❤️🩹 we do recover!
I hear you Kristen! In reflecting on your comment I come back to: do what works for you.
For me, “addicted parts” creates more space for compassion which can lead to change and connection. Both with myself and then others.
I love 12-step recovery. It’s such an important part of my journey. The thing I don’t love about it is this idea that if you aren’t doing it exactly by the book, are you really recovering?
Example: if you aren’t calling yourself an addict, are you really acknowledging your powerlessness?
I believe we can view them as addicted parts and still acknowledge our powerlessness.
And even if we have a part of us that is trying to deceive so that we can have a drink now and then, that’s still just a part of you that deserves compassion and curiosity over rejection or criticism because it, at the end of the day, is trying to protect you too.
Just my thoughts! Take what you want and leave the rest. Hope that helps.
Love @Blake Roberts, MMFT writing and storytelling. Glad you highlighted him.
Thanks Jonathan!
Blake, thank you for your wisdom and insight! Although there is so much here to highlight, I especially appreciate this: "Every anxious moment, every connection to addictive patterns offers a chance to deepen your relationship with yourself." Oh, how true and important this is! I only wish I had learned this decades ago. Keep doing what you do, Blake. Thank you.
Thank you Jeanie! Such kind words.
Love this insightful and practical essay. Thank you Blake.
Thanks Caroline!