You Almost Didn’t Walk In, But You Did
+ and a couple things you might have missed
You enter the building and notice how the light filters in through the windows, hitting the art on the walls, causing bluish shadows on the tile floor.
You look to your right and then left and then right again and wonder if you’ve made a terrible mistake in showing up.
This is not how you want to spend the next hour.
Your stomach flits like fireflies.
Winding your way through the halls, you see the sign:
All Recovery Meeting —>
…and you follow the arrow down the small set of stairs.
You see the half-open door and walk inside.
Deep breath.
A circle of chairs lines the perimeter of the room and the first thing you notice is that the people sitting in the chairs do not look like how you’d imagined in your mind.
They look like you.
Friends, I’m glad you are here.
Part of why I named this little letter “Circle of Chairs” is because I love the imagery that this evokes. If you’ve ever been in addiction treatment or a recovery meeting of any kind, even a small group at your church, you know the feeling that comes from stepping into the circle. Pulling up a chair. Sharing stories. Almost not “walking in” to a space, and then doing it anyways and being glad.
Photo by matthew Feeney on Unsplash
Maybe you feel exposed and a bit anxious in an open circle with new people. Maybe it encourages a vulnerability or openness that inspires.
Whatever feeling it digs up or what memory it might bring to mind, I hope in this place you hear a part of your own story and are moved to take action in some way.
I believe that stories and storytelling is a way that we can connect with each other. It’s a way we can share hope. It’s also a way for those of us in addiction and mental health recovery to bust the stigma that prevents too many people from accessing the help they need.
Every week, I share at least one letter with you, one story or set of reflections, that is meant to be an encouragement to you or a loved one. I hope this letter moves you.
3 Ways to Connect in this Circle
(1) Share your thoughts! I’d love to hear from you about the topics that you care about, what’s resonating or what’s not. You can share your thoughts via email (carolinebeidler@gmail.com) or this quick survey.
(2) ARE YOU AN AFFECTED FAMILY MEMBER OR LOVED ONE of someone in or seeking addiction recovery? I’m working on my next book and would love to include your story. Send me a message now!
(3) Comment on this post about you and your Substack letter or other fave letters! The circle of chairs widens when we share.
This felt like home. I have been I many chairs and frankly miss it. (I have trouble getting to meetings.) I had an LPC have done therapy for 50 years. Would be nice to meet you here.
I took your survey and was pleasantly surprised when I got to the question about trauma struggles and I realized the answer about lack of purpose and motivation no longer applies to me. 😊